BEST OF BULLDOG

I Saw Stone Cold Stunning Santa Claus

Originally published December 22, 2018

For more than a decade, Canadian Bulldog has been composing off-beat, quirky Christmas Carols for the offbeat, quirky world of pro wrestling. Here's another one...

I Saw Stone Cold Stunning Santa Claus

I saw Stone Cold Stunning Santa Claus

Right inside the ring on Monday night

He didn’t see my cries, with middle fingers he pantomimed

Flipping the bird to ol’ Saint Nick and saying, that’s the bottom line

 

Then I saw Stone Cold beating Santa Claus

Forcing him to jump and drop his beer

It nearly ruined Christmas when he opened a can of Whoop Ass

The Nielsen rating popped, but the segment was pretty crass

 

I saw Stone Cold Stunning Santa Claus

What a crappy way to end the show

He kicked Kris Kingle’s butt, then he kept on yelling “WHAT?”

Santa’s beard was bleeding, and his eyes were pummeled shut

 

When I saw Stone Cold whooping Santa Claus

Right before he celebrated in the ring

He chugged some cans of beer, as the Elves looked on in fear

As they realized the Christmas presents wouldn't be sent this year!

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