It’s time for the WWF Wrestling Classic What If Tournament, the imaginary event that envisions 32 of the world’s greatest wrestlers competing in a titanic tournament to determine the winner. Unlike the WWF Wrestling Classic from 1985, this one features wrestlers from a variety of promotions including the American Wrestling Association (AWA), various territories from the National Wrestling Alliance (NWA), Japan, and the World Wrestling Federation (WWF_. It also ups the stakes by awarding the winner a Rolls Royce (much like one lucky fan who ordered the pay-per-view did) along with a title shot against the NWA, WWF, or AWA World Heavyweight Champion. The tournament also features a main event tag team match with “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and “Nature Boy” Ric Flair teaming up to take on Magnum T.A. and WWF Champion Hulk Hogan. Hogan, who is scheduled to meet Flair at Starrcade ’85, will meet Flair in the ring for the first time.
The matches will be held under traditional WWF rules which means you can win by count-out, disqualification, pinfall, or submission. There is no disqualification for throwing your opponent over the top rope, unlike other promotions. The matches in rounds one and two matches have a 20-minute time limit while rounds three and four have a 30-minute time limit. The fifth and final round will be a one-hour time limit. Just as was the case with the 1985 Jim Crockett Sr. Memorial Cup, the tournament will feature randomly selected referees from a pool of referees from every promotion that is sending competitors.
The event will be held over five nights with the first eight matches of round one taking place on Thursday November 7, at the famous Boston Garden. Round One’s first eight matches saw Antonio Inoki, Tito Santana, Larry Zbyszko, Tully Blanchard, Harley Race, Jerry Lawler, The Junkyard Dog and Bob Backlund enter the winner’s circle. They’re now on their way to the second round. The final eight matches are taking place at the fabled Philadelphia Spectrum on Friday, November 8. Your announcers for the show are Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura. Gorilla says it’s time to send things to the ring for our next match.
Gentleman Chris Adams vs. Randy Macho Man Savage
(w/ Miss Elizabeth)
“Gentleman” Chris Adams comes out to polite applause. While Adams is a heel back in his stomping grounds in World Class Championship Wrestling, the fans are giving him the benefit of the doubt against the much-hated “Macho Man.” “Pomp and Circumstance” plays as Miss Elizabeth leads Randy to the ring, sitting on the ring rope to let him in. Gorilla Monsoon says Savage should be helping Elizabeth in but Jesse points out that The Macho Man is a big supporter in the women’s liberation movement. Jim Crockett Promotions referee Earl Hebner is your official. Gorilla says someone must have given him the wrong notes as that’s clearly Dave Hebner in the ring. Jesse suggests Gorilla might want to visit an eye doctor. Earl signals for the bell after checking for foreign objects on Adams and Savage.
Savage starts the match by slapping Adams in the face then bails out of the ring. Adams chases Savage out of the ring but The Macho Man grabs the lovely Elizabeth, using her as a
human shield. Referee Earl Hebner slides out of the ring as Adams tries to get to Savage. Hebner tries to keep Adams from inadvertently clobbering Liz and turns him around. As he does, Savage releases Miss Elizabeth and delivers a double axe-handle to Adams, knocking him down. Ventura laughs and says there’sno use being a gentleman in professional wrestling. Savage throws Chris into the ring then climbs to the top rope, coming off with a double axe-handle that knocks Adams down. Savage repeats the process but this time Chris nails him with a punch to the gut. Adams kicks Savage in the right hamstring, knocking him down. Savage gets up and Adams kicks him in the hamstring again. This time, Adams kicks Savage’s right knee. Adams picks Savage up for a suplex and drives him down to the mat. Adams kicks at Savage’s knee then applies a reverse spinning toe-hold. However, Savage makes it to the ropes, forcing a break.
Adams goes to grab Savage’s weakened leg, but Savage rolls out of the ring. Savage limps and grabs Miss Elizabeth again as Adams follows Savage out. Referee Earl Hebner begins a ten count. Savage pushes Elizabeth into Adams and he stopes her from falling. However, The Macho Man capitalizes again, kneeing Adams in the back after “Gentleman” Chris has made sure Liz is okay. Savage rams Adams’ head into the mat apron and throws him into the ring. Another climb to the top rope and Savage comes off with a flying axe-handle that connects this time. Savage covers Adams for a two-count then punishes him by choking him. Savage puts his boot on Adams’ throat while The Macho Man holds onto the top rope. Gorilla asks “What is Savage doing?” Jesse replies “It looks like he’s doing isometrics Monsoon.”
After a four-count by the referee, Savage lets Adams breathe, but goes back to the boot to the throat. Savage breaks again at the four-count and picks Adams up. The Macho Man grabs Adams and runs towards the ring ropes, with Savage jumping over the top rope as he uses the top rope to clothesline Adams. Showing his incredible speed, Savage rolls back into the ring and covers Adams, but he only gets a two-count! Savage goes to choke Adams but Adams rakes the eyes. Adams throws several punches at Savage as he tries to rally. Jesse says when is the referee going to warn Adams about the closed fists? Adams is no gentleman. Gorilla says he’s no doorknob either.
Adams slams Savage to the mat then kicks him in the already-softened up leg. Adams goes for a spinning toe-hold, but Savage manages to kick him, sending Adams into the referee. The referee is dazed but apparently not knocked out. Savage slowly gets to his feet and as he does, Adams superkicks him! Cover by Adams. 1, 2, 3! the fans count but the referee doesn’t as he’s still groggy. Finally, Hebner crawls over to make the count 1,2…Savage kicks out! Adams is hot and starts arguing with the referee. Savage rolls Adams up and grabs the middle rope for leverage as the referee counts to three without seeing Macho Man’s insurance policy. Savage rolls out of the ring as Adams wonders what just happened.
Winner: Randy Macho Man Savage
Kerry Von Erich vs. Hercules Hernandez
Gorilla Monsoon says the fans are about to see two physical specimens. Jesse adds that both men have obviously spent time in the gym and they both have impressive physiques—even if they’re not The Body. Gorilla asks Jesse if the rumors are true that The Body used to wrap his legs in newspapers for a better look. Ventura is irate and asks where he heard that from, that jealous “Chump” Hogan? Gorilla laughs.
All Japan Pro Wrestling referee Kanji “Joe” Higuchi is ready to officiate. He does a pre-match inspection then signals for the bell. Von Erich goes for a collar-and-elbow tie-up but Hercules grabs Von Erich’s hair and pulls him down to the mat. Hercules drops an elbow on Kerry. Kerry gets to his feet, but he has his back turned momentarily and Hernandez knees him in the back. Double axe-handle to Kerry’s back as he’s struggling to get to his feet.
Hernandez whips Von Erich into the ropes, hitting a shoulderblock that knocks him down. Hercules poses for the fans in the Philadelphia Spectrum and they boo him. Hernandez slams
Von Erich down to the mat and whips him into the ropes. Kerry ducks under a clothesline and
comes off with a high cross body-block, covering Hercules for about a two-count. Hercules charges Von Erich and gets a big right hand, with Von Erich knocking him down to the mat. Kerry drops a knee to Hernandez then lifts him up, whipping him into the ropes for a big back
body-drop. Hernandez gets up and throws a punch at Kerry, who blocks it and fires off a punch of his own. Gorilla Monsoon says the referee is giving both men a lot of latitude.
Hernandez rakes the eyes then elbows Von Erich in the head. Hernandez rams Kerry’s head into a top turnbuckle and delivers a vertical suplex. Cover for a two-count. Hernandez stomps away at Von Erich while he’s done then drops a knee on his throat, choking “The Modern-Day Warrior” as the referee begins a five-count. Over the knee backbreaker by Hernandez. Another cover but Kerry kicks out at two again. Hernandez whips Kerry into the corner and charges in, only for Kerry to lift a knee up. Kerry kicks Hercules in the gut then whips him into the ropes. Dropkick by Von Erich! Hercules goes down but Von Erich is just getting started. He whips Hercules into the ropes again and delivers a Discus Punch, knocking Hercules through the ropes. Hernandez can’t answer the count as the referee counts to ten.
Winner: Kerry Von Erich (by countout)
Nikita Koloff (w/ Ivan Koloff and Krusher Kruschev)
vs. Davey Boy Smith
Nikita enters the ring with his heavy chains draped across his shoulders. Ivan has his shovel while Krusher is carrying the Soviet flag. Gorilla Monsoon says this is ridiculous. Koloff has a veritable entourage with him as well as an arsenal of weapons. Jesse points out the chains are a reminder of Nikita’s heritage. Gorilla says you said that about Larry Zbyszko’s nunchaku and he nearly bludgeoned “Crusher” Blackwell to death with them. Jesse says that doesn’t mean Nikita is going to get overzealous like “The Living Legend” did. Gorilla asks, “what about Ivan’s shovel?” Jesse answers that perhaps Uncle Ivan wants to plant a memorial garden for Davey Boy after Nikita beats him. Gimme a break! Gorilla says as Nikita’s introduction is made.
Championship Wrestling from Florida referee Bill Alfonso will be moderating this match. Alfonso is saying something to the Russian team and Uncle Ivan isn’t happy. Nikita is yelling now. “Rule Britannia” plays as Davey Boy makes his way to the ring. The Russians are still arguing with Alfonso so Davey Boy climbs to the top rope. The Russians and Alfonso don’t see Davey Boy as he comes off with a missile dropkick to Nikita, knocking him down. Headbutt to Ivan that sends him out of the ring. Davey Boy headbutts Krusher then breaks the flagpole over his head, knocking him out of the ring. Bill Alfonso signals for the bell. He’s yelling something at Davey Boy but the Bulldog isn’t wasting any time and turns to go after Nikita. As he does, “The Russian Nightmare” catches him with a Russian sickle that makes him do a 360. Cover by Nikita for a shock win.
Winner: Nikita Koloff
After the match, Nikita starts stomping away at Smith. The fans cheer as Sgt. Slaughter runs in with a chair, making the save and driving the Russians off. Ivan yells at Slaughter as Sarge checks on Davey Boy. Jesse asks why is Slaughter sticking his nose in other people’s business?
Wahoo McDaniel vs. King Kong Bundy (w/ Bobby Heenan)
Jesse “The Body” Ventura says King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd have been making a lot of doctors rich with all the opponents they’ve laid up. Gorilla says Bundy is living up to his nickname “King Kong.” He says Chief Wahoo McDaniel may be able to cut “The Walking Condominium” down to size with his mighty tomahawk chops. Jesse says that’s wishful thinking as it’s going to take a lot of chops to knock Bundy off his feet. Gorilla asks Jesse what will happen if Bundy meets his tag team partner Big John Studd in the tournament. Jesse accuses Monsoon of stirring up trouble and tells him to stick to the match at hand. Referee Danny Davis is your official for this match. Bobby “The Brain” starts trash-talking with Chief Wahoo. Bundy charges at Wahoo while his back is turned, but the big chief ducks out of the way and Bundy crashes into the corner.
“Bundy tried the Pearl Harbor job and it backfired!” Gorilla says. Wahoo begins chopping away at Bundy, dazing the big man. Wahoo whips Bundy into the ropes and hits a tomahawk chop as Bundy staggers but doesn’t go down. Wahoo whips Bundy into the ropes again, but this time the big man comes off with a shoulderblock, knocking Wahoo off his feet. “McDaniel just hit a brick wall. He’s going to wish he was back on the New York Jets” Jesse observes. Bundy picks up Wahoo and whips him into the corner. Bundy runs in and hits the Atlantic City Avalanche. McDaniel crumbles out of the corner onto the mat. A big splash from Bundy as he covers McDaniel for the 1-2-3. Bundy demands a five count as Davis counts, 4, 5.
Winner: King Kong Bundy
That’s it for this time fans. Join us next time as matches thirteen through sixteen take place and things get ready to move to round two! Be sure to check back as the WWF Wrestling Classic What If Tournament continues, exclusively at Wrestling Merchandise and Memories.