The World's Cheapest Toy Wrestling Ring!
No.... your eyes are not deceiving you, dear reader. I present to you a TWO DOLLAR TOY WRESTLING RING! And it comes with two figures!!!
While it's true that I'm known locally as a cheap bastard (just ask my kids), I've always been a sucker for dollar store merchandise. And if said merchandise ties into wrestling somehow? This is literally the definition of "shut up and take my money".
I've owned a few toy wrestling rings in my day, including the LJN Sling 'Em Fling 'Em ring that was later recalled as a safety hazard, and one that came as part of a $10 kit that I detailed as the grounds for launching the 10WF ($10 Wrestling Federation).
For 10 bones, that kit didn't include any ring ropes! And while this one doesn't appear to either, I'm holding out hope that said ropes are just.... hiding somewhere.
But what's the point of having the world's cheapest toy wrestling ring if you don't have any toy wrestlers to use in it?
The two figures included are generic (obviously) but appear to be patterned after the WWE Micro Aggression figures that came out several years ago. The only difference between these ones and WWE's is that the limbs are glued into place here, so this hybrid of deceased former ECW stars Test and John Kronus can't move his damn arm from the lifted position.
Poor guy.
Likewise, this happy little fellow can't move his arms from the combat position - not that isn't a bad pose for wrestling purposes, but it still limits him. You know?
As for his character, this guy is the SPITTING IMAGE of Sting, if Sting were wearing blue from head to toe instead of black and were sporting a blotch of facepaint where his eyes should generally be.
His name? I can't decide on Blue Sting, bWo Wolfpac Sting or Bling. You guys can choose.
"Iiiiiiiiit's Blue-time! Owwwwwww!"
The ring itself was kind of a pain in the ass to put together.
It consists of a square object with a decal proclaiming the federation to be "extreme FIGHTING" (you just know that somewhere, Shane Douglas is running to his lawyer to get the name Extreme Fighting copyrighted) and corner posts that barely fit into place in each corner of the ring. Trust me, it was a tight fit and it took quite a while to shove each peg into the hole.
That's what she said?
Thankfully, my toy wrestling ring did, in this case, come with actual toy wrestling ring ropes! I can't tell you how thankful I was to find these hiding underneath the ring.
Unfortunately, the ropes aren't pre-tied so you have to kind of make little knots in each one before jerry-rigging them around each corner post.
It's not that difficult a task, so long as you truly don't care what the end result looks like.
And the truth is... I truly don't care what the end result looks like. This is a $2 ring that I bought so I could show you guys. It's not a project for Martha Stewart Living.
See that big knot in the top left hand corner? If that appeared on camera in, say, NXT, I'm sure Kevin Dunn would be having a coronary. But here in extreme FIGHTING, it's simply the cost of doing business if we want to put on a quality show for our imaginary fans.
At the end of the day.... what you end up with is a perfectly serviceable toy wrestling ring that could easily work for your old Micro Aggression or M.U.S.C.L.E. figures, should the need arise to bring either collection out and have them engage in active competition.
The Dollar Tree that I purchased this item from had other sets, too, but none that features competitors the caliber of Blue Sting and Test Kronus. I believe I chose wisely.
Would some weapons (chairs, steel steps, guardrail) have been a nice touch? Sure, but beggars can't be choosers. You're shelling out two bones for the ropes, the figures and the extreme FIGHTING ring - that should really be enough for you people.
Overall, I'm happy I made the purchase. It makes for a great conversation piece and shows the world that you're either a true wrestling fan, or that you happen to collect garbage.