Remember WWF's Hasbro wrestling figures? Staples of the 1990s, these misshapen toys had tiny levers, knobs and spring-loaded limbs, and were "so close to the real thing, it's like being in the ring!" (tm Jesse Ventura).
We here at Wrestling Merchandise and Memories LOVE them, as well as their more recent WWE Retro cousins that Mattel produced. For the past six years, we've hosted a competition to determine the best figures.
This year's event is Retro Rumble 2021, a Royal Rumble-like event featuring 30 WWF Hasbro and WWE Retro figures. Check back each week and scroll through the photos below to see who will win!
WEEK Three
Welcome, everyone, to Week Three of Retro Rumble 2021!
When we last left off the unsual trio of The Million Dollar Man, Brock Lesnar and, for some reason, a wig-wearing Virgil were dominating the field. And our 20th entrant, Stone Cold Steve Austin, had just entered the fray. Can The Texas Rattlesnake take control?
When we last left off the unsual trio of The Million Dollar Man, Brock Lesnar and, for some reason, a wig-wearing Virgil were dominating the field. And our 20th entrant, Stone Cold Steve Austin, had just entered the fray. Can The Texas Rattlesnake take control?
WHAT?
Stone Cold Steve Austin has knocked The Beast Incarnate off his feet, shoved DiBiase aside, and punched Virgil in the mush, causing the Wrestling Superstar to lose his wig.
We're getting ready for our next entrant in... three... two.... one....
Stone Cold Steve Austin has knocked The Beast Incarnate off his feet, shoved DiBiase aside, and punched Virgil in the mush, causing the Wrestling Superstar to lose his wig.
We're getting ready for our next entrant in... three... two.... one....
It's The Iron Sheik! Will The Legend be able to turn the Royal Rumble into the Royal Humble? Let's find out!
While The Iron Sheik has targeted Virgil, Stone Cold Steve Austin is facing off against the million-dollar combination of Ted DiBiase and his paid goon, Brock Lesnar. Can Stone Cold overcome the odds?
Look at this! The Sheik has stolen Virgil's wig (which was originally stolen from Goldust, but whatever). And he's about to put the bodyguard in his patented Camel Clutch!
Here comes our next entrant in three... two.... one. It's.....
Here comes our next entrant in three... two.... one. It's.....
... The Dragon! Ricky Steamboat is breathing fire (an accessory Hasbro only WISHED they would have added to his figure).
Will the collection of superstars in the ring be able to slay The Dragon? Or will Steamboat burn them?
Will the collection of superstars in the ring be able to slay The Dragon? Or will Steamboat burn them?
The Dragon goes right after The Million Dollar Man -- and both of DiBiase's hired thugs are preoccupied!
Brock Lesnar continues to work over Stone Cold Steve Austin, while Sheikie Baby is still positioning Virgil for his Camel Clutch.
Brock Lesnar continues to work over Stone Cold Steve Austin, while Sheikie Baby is still positioning Virgil for his Camel Clutch.
Lesnar breaks free from his conflict with Austin to aid his benefactor DiBiase.
And he's just eliminated his 13th competitor in this match. Let's see who's next in three... two.... one.... It's....
And he's just eliminated his 13th competitor in this match. Let's see who's next in three... two.... one.... It's....
.... Sami Zayn! Will The Underdog From The Underground be able to make a difference in the Retro Rumble?
Apparently not! Zayn has been tossed out by Lesnar, only seconds into his appearance!
The trio of DiBiase, Virgil and Lesnar appear content to let Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Iron Sheik duke it out here.
It appears as though The Texas Rattlesnake is about to eliminate The Sheik!
It appears as though The Texas Rattlesnake is about to eliminate The Sheik!
Not quite! Lesnar moves in and simultaneously eliminates both men. At 15 eliminations now, The Beast Incarnate appears to be unstoppable.
We have another entrant coming out in three.... two.... one.....
We have another entrant coming out in three.... two.... one.....
Superfly Jimmy Snuka is entrant # 24.
Not sure whether he will be a difference-maker, but something seems a bit "off" about the Superfly tonight....
Not sure whether he will be a difference-maker, but something seems a bit "off" about the Superfly tonight....
Superfly Jimmy Snuka is confronting the trio of Brock Lesnar, Ted DiBiase and Virgil! He appears to be pointing up.... at something....
What on earth? It appears as though a SECOND Superfly Jimmy Snuka has emerged, and is doing a cross-body off the top rope to the heels.
How could this happen?!?
How could this happen?!?
Meanwhile, Bray Wyatt is the next entrant. The Eater Of Worlds has a wide grin on his face.
Wait.... you don't think that....
Wait.... you don't think that....
YES! It is true! Bray Wyatt has somehow cloned Superfly Jimmy Snuka, and both of the clones have become part of The Wyatt Family! What will this mean for The Million Dollar Trio?
Very little!
Lesnar has made short work of the Superfly clones and sent them both packing.
Does that mean Lesnar has now eliminated 17 people? Or 16, because Snuka is in the match twice? This is confusing.
Lesnar has made short work of the Superfly clones and sent them both packing.
Does that mean Lesnar has now eliminated 17 people? Or 16, because Snuka is in the match twice? This is confusing.
Sgt. Slaughter is out next, and the former drill instructor has made a vow to bring everyone in the ring to his personal bootcamp. And that's an order, maggot!
Sgt. Slaughter is taking the combat boots to The Million Dollar Man! Meanwhile, Brock Lesnar is holding Bray Wyatt in place so that Virgil can give The Eater Of Worlds his patented "Olive Garden Special" (a punch to the face).
But wait! Bray Wyatt ducks out of the way! Virgil has punched Brock Lesnar square in the face! That may not end well for the bodyguard...
Koko B. Ware is out next, complete with a CGI Frankie!
We're told the # 27 spot is usually lucky for Rumble participants, but we may need to make an exception in this particular case...
We're told the # 27 spot is usually lucky for Rumble participants, but we may need to make an exception in this particular case...
As The Million Dollar Man is ordering his thugs not to fight each other, Koko B. Ware, Bray Wyatt and Sgt. Slaughter are having it out on the other side of the ring.
It truly is every man for himself!
It truly is every man for himself!
United by a common goal (money), DiBiase, Virgil and Lesnar have united once again.
They team up to eliminate Koko B. Ware, Bray Wyatt and Sgt. Slaughter.
They team up to eliminate Koko B. Ware, Bray Wyatt and Sgt. Slaughter.
Is there ANYONE who can stop this unholy alliance?
We have another entrant coming to the ring in three... two.... one.... It's.....
We have another entrant coming to the ring in three... two.... one.... It's.....
... Brutus The F'ng Barber Beefcake.
Hmm.... unless Brother Bruti somehow finds Virgil's displaced wig somewhere, it's highly unlikely there will be too much Cuttin' & Struttin' going on here.
Hmm.... unless Brother Bruti somehow finds Virgil's displaced wig somewhere, it's highly unlikely there will be too much Cuttin' & Struttin' going on here.
Sure enough, Brutus Beefcake is being triple-teamed by the trio of Brock Lesnar, Ted DiBiase and Virgil. Things aren't looking great for The Barber.
And, as predicted, Beefcake is out of the ring already, courtesy of Brock Lesnar. We're getting ready for our next competitor in three... two... one....
Macho Man Randy Savage is here! This could be a game-changer!
Off the bat, Randy Savage attacks all three members of The Million Dollar Trio! Can the Macho Man pull this off?
The numbers game is not looking good for Savage, though. Lesnar chokeslams the Macho Man, and Virgil isn't far behind.
We're getting ready for our final competitor in three... two.... one.... It's.....
We're getting ready for our final competitor in three... two.... one.... It's.....
GOLDBERG! Da Man is # 30. If anyone can overcome the odds, it may very well be Goldberg!
We have the final five in the ring. DiBiase and Virgil are attacking their archenemy Savage, while archenemies Lesnar and Goldberg stare each other down.
Tune in next week to see the thrilling conclusion of Retro Rumble 2021!
Tune in next week to see the thrilling conclusion of Retro Rumble 2021!