BRISTLEMANIA!

John Cleana vs. CM Plaque

BRISTLEMANIA!

My parents recently bought me a pair of "WWE Brush Buddies" brand toothbrushes, thinking that I wouldn't know what the hell to write about them. They were wrong.

BRISTLEMANIA!

Michael Canal: Welcome, everyone, to BristleMania - The Showcase Of The Immolars!

 

John Bridgework Layfield: Brace yourself, Mi-chael! We're getting ready for the main extraction here - John Cleana versus CM Plaque. This should be one hell of a check-up for both men!

 

Booker Teeth: You damn skippy, hippy! This match has the potential to be my Shucky Ducky Plaque Quack of the week. 

 

Michael Canal: Wow - we're not even six sentences into this column and there's already been one repetition of a pun. Canadian Bulldog certainly has his work cut out for him.

 

John Bridgework Layfield: True. Hopefully his writing doesn't decay.

Michael Canal: Coming down to the ring first is the Brace of the Braceless, CM Plaque. And he sure looks Cankery tonight!

Booker Teeth: That's right, dawg. You never know when Plaque is gonna drop one of his infamous Bite Bombs!

John Bridgework Layfield:  If Plaque doesn't get what he wants, I could totally see him taking his bond and going home. Either that or competing in the UFC (Ultimate Flossing Championship), Mi-chael!

BRISTLEMANIA!
BRISTLEMANIA!

Michael Canal: Here comes John Cleana!

 

Booker Teeth: The Chomp.... is.... here!

 

John Bridgework Layfield: John Cleana operates under the mantra of Brush-le, Oral-ty and Rinse-spect. He never clasps down and he will never spit!

 

Michael Canal: How many of these puns have we got left? STAY TUNED!

Michael Canal: As we get set here, John Cleana is flexing his bicuspids, while CM Plaque is making small circles around his opponent.

 

Booker Teeth: Hold up - who's that gumming down to ringside? 


Michael Canal: That's.... R-Tooth! What's he doing here?!?

 

Booker Teeth: And he's followed to the ring by El Tartarito!

 

John Bridgework Layfield: And look - here comes Kane!

 

Michael Canal and Booker Teeth: ......

 

John Bridgework Layfield: .... who used to compete as Isaac Yankem, DDS!

BRISTLEMANIA!

Michael Canal: John Cleana has gotten to the root of the problem, drilling everyone with his patented Five-Brushle Shuffle! Referee has no choice but to stop this match. It was getting a little long in the tooth anyways....

 

Booker Teeth: That's a shame, dawg. I really hope that there are no hard fillings.

 

John Bridgework Layfield: Oh, for the love of.... enough with the puns! You wouldn't have heard stuff like this back in the day on Monday Nitrous Oxide!

 

Booker Teeth: Maybe so, but they used to do it all the time on TNA Implant.


Michael Canal: Hopefully, we can one day wash the taste of this from our mouths. Thank you for bracing with us and watching BristleMania!

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