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I will admit -- this column is a little half-baked. I only have a fraction of the Ooshies collection and even if it were possible for me to secure a bigger portion of the Ooshie pie, I've already given up on the series. But first... some background on what the hell Ooshies are and how they came into my life:

About a year ago, the commercial below began airing on television in certain markets (but not Canada; that will become important later). As someone who owns approximately 14 billion minifigures, spanning a range of lines and promotions, I had to admit, this commercial is AMAZING, right down to the rip-off Vince McMahon announcer voice.


And let's not kid ourselves, the initial line of Ooshies (oops, I forgot to explain that they're pencil toppers shaped kind of, sort of, like ultra-cartoony versions of WWE superstars) is extensive. I mean... THEY HAVE A FREAKING JUNKYARD DOG OOSHIE!


So with all that said, when they arrived in Canadian dollar stores earlier this year, there were only 13 of the the original 40 available for sale. And because they're in blind bags, there's no way to know for sure who you've got until you've plunked down your $2 per bag.


Minor griping aside, let's look at which Ooshies they DO have available in Canada at present:


Having The Bar together in Ooshie format isn't a bad choice, particularly because neither guy tends to get a lot of love in minifig format.


The facial details on both are cool (mohawk and orange beard for Sheamus, stubble for Cesaro), even if their eyes are kind of Funko-esque.


And there's something kind of cool about the details on each man's trunks, even if they are squished a little to fit neatly on the top of one's pencil.


So The Bar are perfectly serviceable. What about the rest of the collection?


Long-time rivals The Miz and Dolph Ziggler are.... well, just okay, if we're being honest about it.


I mean, you can tell the first one is The Miz, but really more by process of elimination than anything else. Even his hair color seems a little off, as do his oversized pectorals.


And Dolph Ziggler? While I appreciate the little detail of his heavy metal jacket.... I can't help but think of Dolph as a character from a Charles Schultz comic. You can be tiny and detailed, or large and cartoonish - but not both!


I hate to be "that guy" but seriously.... how is the figure on the left even remotely supposed to be Kofi Kingston? No trademark facial hair, his hair is all wrong, and even his blue trunks aren't really New Day-esque. I mean, if they'd been pink or he came with a unicorn headband.... maybe? But otherwise that is no Kofi Kingston.


Honestly, I opened it and thought it was R-Truth. Why couldn't they have R-Truth in this collection instead?

And Dean Ambrose? Ugh. He looks like an overweight kid wearing a Dean Ambrose shirt. Are these WWE superstars or WWE babies?


Last, and probably least, we have the glow in the dark figures. With the lights out and the "glow" feature in full effect, can you honestly guess who ANY of these three guys are?


If you guessed Randy Orton, Randy "Macho Man" Savage and The Ultimate Warrior, you would be correct, Unfortunately, you'd also have to be psychic to figure that out because even in non-glow form, none of these three look a thing like the wrestlers they're supposed to be patterned after. You could tell me this was supposed to be The Shield, and I probably wouldn't be any the wiser.


The glow in the dark figures sealed it for me, but overall.... I really don't care for this collection. The renderings are beyond cartoonish and there isn't even the smallest attempt with the details. Even for a pencil topper, they kind of suck.


If they'd included Junkyard Dog, on the other hand....

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