WCW NITRO LCD GAME

STARRING THE GIANT

Tony Schiavone: Welcome to WCW Nitro, the LCD Game! I'm Tony Schiavone and tonight we bring you what may be the biggest night in the history of our industry, as WCW's The Giant takes on.... well, I'm not sure who he's taking on. Let's go to ringside for the introductions!

Michael Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is the MAIN EVENT! First introducing the third man in the ring, a referee that APPEARS TO BE INVISIBLE! And in the left corner, with long hair and arms that don't appear to be connected to his body, he is a former WCW World Heavyweight Champion..... THEEEEEEEE GI-ANT! And his opponent, in the right corner wearing the generic trunks and for some reason roughly the same height as his opponent.... his profile picture looks like kind of like Eddie Guerrero but likely isn't him..... he is.... THE RAN-DOM OPPONENT! And now... for the thousands in attendance, and the millions watching this tiny LCD screen at home... Lllllllllllet's get ready..... TO RUM-BLLLLLLLLLE!

Tony Schiavone: All right - main event time! The bell (or a really annoying series of bleeps and blips) is sounded, and we see The Giant and Random Opponent locking up.

 

Bobby Heenan: Clearly, The Giant is just testing this ham and egger out, Schiavone. He's clearly not bothered by him, as you can see by the tiny series of lines that make up his face!

Tony Schiavone: Random Opponent takes The Giant down with some sort of barely-visible leg takedown maneuver!

 

Bobby Heenan: He just got lucky.

 

Eric Bischoff: Folks, don't bother checking out the World Whining Federation's LCD game - it was taped weeks ago. Stick around right here!

Tony Schiavone: Meanwhile... Random Opponent is taking charge. It's almost as though no matter how much you mash the buttons on the keypad, nothing significant really happens!

 

Bobby Heenan: The Giant is no dummy. He understands that whomever is mashing his buttons is eventually going to get revenge on this Random Runt. Just watch - you'll see!

Tony Schiavone: Random Opponent is scaling the turnbuckles! Fans, we are witnessing history tonight!

 

Bobby Heenan: What was that? Sorry I missed that; I was signing an autograph for a fan and didn't see what happened.

 

Mongo McMichael: Bobby The Stain Heenan, you're the most (bunch of unintelligble words).

Tony Schiavone: Will you look at this? The Giant has come back, and knocked out Random Opponent with his patented "Weapons Of Mass Destruction" punch, even though that's years away from being a thing.

 

Bobby Heenan: I told you, Schiavone! Never underestimate a Giant!

 

Larry Zbyszko: Am I really gonna get no announcing time here tonight? Sheesh!

Tony Schiavone: Look at this: Sting has entered the ring because of "One-Touch Linking"! This has to be the single greatest moment in the history of...

 

Bobby Heenan: Wait a minute, Schiavone. Here comes Hollywood Hogan to even up the odds!

 

Tony Schiavone: And he's followed by Goldberg, and anyone else in this LCD game universe!

 

Bobby Heenan: Look at all the bodies jammed together on this tiny, tiny screen!

 

Tony Schiavone: Folks, we're out of time (and the required Duracell AAA battery)! Tune into WCW Thunder's LCD game to find out how this played out!

 

(8 bit blips and bleeps music plays until fade)

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