BEST OF BULLDOG
Vince Russo To Guest-Write
Episode Of The Simpsons
Originally published December 12, 2006
(Springfield, ???) - Fans of long-running animated television series "The Simpsons" can expect plenty of colorful storylines, hard-hitting action and shocking swerves, now that professional wrestling writer Vince Russo has guest-written an episode of the popular program.
The episode, tentatively titled "The Simpsonz Shoot!", is slated to air on the Fox network in early 2007. According to those familiar with the negotiations, Russo landed the gig after convincing Simpsons creator Matt Groening that he had single-handedly created the characters of Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Samoa Joe and Miss Elizabeth.
"The problem with the Simpsonz storylinez are, there'z not enough freakin' reality in 'em," Russo said during an exclusive interview. "They rarely focuz on the lezzer-known characterz, such az Lenny, or little Lis'er Simpson."
Yet, Russo's episode centers around the marital problems of main characters Homer and Marge Simpson. Marge becomes smitten with C. Montgomery Burns, the owner of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant and Homer's boss, and ends up sleeping with him.
In response to his wife's infidelity, Homer is forced for some reason to revert back to his old character of Dancin' Homer, last seen during the show's second season in 1990. Son Bart Simpson then decides to join up with longtime nemesis Sideshow Bob Terwilliger, before attempting to murder him.
The other two children, Lisa and Maggie Simpson, move in with bartender Moe Syzlak and become underage prostitutes, while grandfather Abraham Simpson replaces Nelson Muntz as the schoolyard bully.
Perhaps the most surprising twist of them all, however, is when Kwik-E-Mart propreitor Apu Nahasapeemapetilon "outs" himself as being voiced by actor Hank Azaria, complaining about Russo's script mid-episode.
"I was in 'Friends' and 'Mad About You'!" Apu reportedly says on the show. "I don't need this cartoon sh*t anymore! Thank you; come again."
At that point, Russo actually appears on screen, firing Apu from the show, and orders the other characters to follow script.
"I'm here to bring ratingz back to this show!" Russo purportedly screams. "If you don't start falling in line, I'll kill you off like they did with that Flanderz broad."
This prompts Comic Book Guy to utter: "Worst. Episode. Ever."
Those who have already seen the episode not only remain confused about Russo's shortsighted concepts, but also question why everything didn't return back to normal by the end.
"There were just so many things in that episode that don't make sense," posted online fan Barneyfan231. "For example, why does Jeff Jarrett hit Milhouse Van Houten over the head with a guitar? How can they possibly follow up on that?"
Russo contends that the original episode had a better "pay off" (rumors suggest he had concocted a storyline featuring Agnes Skinner and Mark Henry) until Fox's standard and practices department "ruined everything."