BEST OF BULLDOG
TNA Champion Jeff Jarrett To Feud With Self
Originally published August 29, 2006
(Orlando, FL) -- National Wrestling Alliance World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett is his own worst enemy. Literally.
According to a poster leaked by top wrestling website Wrestling4ever.geocities.com/news/index2.shtml, the main event of Total Nonstop Action's upcoming "Holy Communion" pay-per-view will feature Jeff Jarrett vs. Jeff Jarrett.
"The only person in TNA that can provide Jeff Jarrett with any real competition is Jeff Jarrett," said That Creepy James Earl Jones Knockoff Who Does Voiceovers For Every F*cking TNA Promo. "At Holy Communion, will Jeff Jarrett have finally met his match in Jeff Jarrett?"
Jeff Jarrett is known in TNA as "The King Of The Mountain" because of his victories over wrestlers such as Ron "The Truth" Killings, A.J. Styles, Christian Cage, Rhino, Raven, Christopher Daniels, Kevin Nash, Team Canada, America's Most Wanted, all three members of Team 3-D, two Turtle Doves and A Partridge In A Pear Tree.
On the third day of Christma… oh, sorry. Got sidetracked there…
A source in Orlando reveals that Jeff Jarrett, wanting to help build a generation of younger stars, will give the "rub" to Jeff Jarrett by allowing him to go over himself at the pay-per-view. However, Jeff Jarrett has final say over all creative decisions involved with his character, so Jeff Jarrett could end up doing the job.
Nonetheless, Jeff Jarrett is set to show up in the Impact Zone for the group's next television taping, vowing to "rid TNA of the cancer that is Jeff Jarrett." Jeff Jarrett will then challenge Jeff Jarrett to a match at the PPV.
Above: A surveillance photo taken inside the Impact Zone (cleverly disguised to look like something Canadian Bulldog could have composed on MS Paint) shows Jeff Jarrett practicing his upcoming match against Jeff Jarrett.
"This is completely unprecedented!" said TNA commentator Don West, who apparently didn't realize he was giving an interview and instead thought he was hyping the match on television. "Never before in the history of our industry has one wrestler main-evented a pay-per-view against himself!!!
"Unless, um.... you count that Undertaker vs. Undertaker thing, I guess."
Still, the TNA angle has one twist to it that the 1994 World Wrestling Federation storyline didn't. According to a message board tnaunlimited.lycos.tripod.com/forums, a third Jeff Jarrett will arrive in TNA, initially siding with Jeff Jarrett, but then turning on him and forming a hasty alliance with Jeff Jarrett.
"Imagine the possibilities!" West screamed, sweating right though his faux silk shirt. "One-on-one matches! Three way matches! Handicap matches! This will give us enough material to last into the summer of '07!
"This is exactly the type of fresh, outside-the-box thinking that will put TNA on the map."