Remember WWF's Hasbro wrestling figures? Staples of the 1990s, these misshapen toys had tiny levers, knobs and spring-loaded limbs, and were "so close to the real thing, it's like being in the ring!" (tm Jesse Ventura).
We here at Wrestling Merchandise and Memories LOVE them, as well as their more recent WWE Retro cousins that Mattel produced. For the past six years, we've hosted a competition to determine the best figures.
This year's event is Retro Rumble 2021, a Royal Rumble-like event featuring 30 WWF Hasbro and WWE Retro figures. Check back each week and scroll through the photos below to see who will win!
WEEK Two
Welcome, everyone, to Retro Rumble 2021, where we pit 30 WWF Hasbro and WWE Retro figures against each other.
When we last left off, Brock Lesnar and Sting were about to square off for the first time. Also in the ring are Jeff Hardy, Jake The Snake Roberts and for some reason, Wrestling Superstar Virgil.
When we last left off, Brock Lesnar and Sting were about to square off for the first time. Also in the ring are Jeff Hardy, Jake The Snake Roberts and for some reason, Wrestling Superstar Virgil.
Here comes our next entrant..... it's the bizarre one, Goldust! Look at the gold flecks in the air - the art department at Wrestling Merchandise and Memories must have spent a pretty penny on that.
In the ring, Brock Lesnar is absolutely dominating the vigilante Sting, while Goldust and Jake The Snake Roberts are exchanging lefts and rights.
Sting is struggling to stay alive here and.... no! Brock Lesnar has tossed The Icon out of the ring.
Wait, what is Virgil doing to Goldust?
Wait, what is Virgil doing to Goldust?
Virgil has pulled off Goldust's wig! That has to be the first time that's ever happened in the history of The Retro Rumble! Or The Royal Rumble, for that matter.
Repo Man is out next, and you just know that he's looking to repossess something in the ring. What's his is his... and what's yours is also his!
As Repo makes his way into the ring, Goldust is distracted because he's lost his hair (it happens to the best of us, folks) and he's been tossed out of the floor below.
That's elimination # 5 for Brock Lesnar in this match, for those keeping score at home.
That's elimination # 5 for Brock Lesnar in this match, for those keeping score at home.
Next out at lucky number 13 is Mankind. He's hoping to Have A Nice Day in this match.
Brock Lesnar is on a rampage! He's eliminated both Repo Man and Jake The Snake Roberts in one fell swoop.
Meanwhile, Mankind has caught Virgildust in his Mandible Claw. We're getting ready for our next entrant in three... two.... one.... It's.....
Meanwhile, Mankind has caught Virgildust in his Mandible Claw. We're getting ready for our next entrant in three... two.... one.... It's.....
Mr. Perfect is out next, and he's promising the nonexistent crowd watching this match that he will become... "the Perfect Retro Rumble participant."
Right away, Mr. Perfect goes after Virgil, who's trying to avoid elimination.
Mrs. Foley's Baby Boy isn't as lucky, . The Boiler Room Dweller is trying to avoid elimination by Brock Lesnar, making it... ahem, one giant leap for Mankind.
Who's coming in three... two.... one....
Mrs. Foley's Baby Boy isn't as lucky, . The Boiler Room Dweller is trying to avoid elimination by Brock Lesnar, making it... ahem, one giant leap for Mankind.
Who's coming in three... two.... one....
Kurt Angle is next! The Olympic Gold Medalist is making a beeline for Brock Lesnar, looking to rekindle an old rivalry.
Brock Lesnar locks horns with Kurt Angle in a test of strength.
Meanwhile, Mr. Perfect and Mankind are trying in vain to eliminate the wig-wearing Virgil.
Meanwhile, Mr. Perfect and Mankind are trying in vain to eliminate the wig-wearing Virgil.
Earthquake is next, as indicated by both the chyron and by the background appearing as though it's shaking.
Earthquake and Mankind have formed an unholy alliance, and they've just eliminated Mr. Perfect - so much for his claim that he'll be the Perfect participant!
Also, Kurt Angle is history.
Also, Kurt Angle is history.
Brock Lesnar has turned his attention to Earthquake, and promptly tosses the Natural Disaster member out of the ring. That's nine eliminations for Brock so far, and we're about to add our 17th entrant in three... two..... one....
Kevin Owens is here! And he's wearing his Fight Owens Fight reissue shirt instead of the KO duct tape one. Things are about to get interesting!
Kevin Owens has just punched Brock Lesnar right in the face. Ouch!
KO is trading blows with Brock Lesnar, while Mankind and Virgildust renew their rivalry on the other side of the ring. Time for next entrant in three.... two... one.... It's....
... The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase! DiBiase is so wealthy he appears to be throwing CGI $100 bills on the ground!
Oh wow! It looks as though DiBiase is spreading around some of his money to convince Brock Lesnar to come work for him.
And Lesnar is open to the idea!
And Lesnar is open to the idea!
With DiBiase watching on, his newest purchase Brock Lesnar has made short work of Kevin Owens and Mankind. That means the only other person in the ring now is....
.... Virgil! The wig-wearing wrestling superstar is backing away from the combination of Lesnar and DiBiase. Virgil will be going back to hawking autographed 8 x 10s in a matter of moments now.
Oh, wait. Here comes the next entrant! It's....
Oh, wait. Here comes the next entrant! It's....
Rowdy Roddy Piper! Hot Rod is here! Can he be the difference maker in this match?
Piper has come to Virgil's aid, similar to what he did at WrestleMania VII (though Virgil wasn't wearing a wig at the time). Piper elbows Lesnar in the face and pokes DiBiase in the eye. Hot Rod is trying to eliminate the Million Dollar Man!
But wait! Virgil has snuck up behind Hot Rod and hit him under the kilt with a low blow! What's going on here?
It appears as though DiBiase has struck an agreement with his former bodyguard Virgil! Money talks, and Lesnar eliminates Piper, making a record 12 eliminations in a single match.
Next entrant is out in three... two.... one.... It's.....
Next entrant is out in three... two.... one.... It's.....
Stone Cold Steve Austin is here! Business is about to pick up!
In the ring, The Texas Rattlesnake stares down Brock Lesnar, Virgildust and his one-time manager Ted DiBiase. Will Stone Cold be able to overcome the odds?
Tune in next week to find out!
Tune in next week to find out!