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I Ordered

Five Random

Wrestling Figures Online

Five Random Wrestling Figures

Blame it on the pandemic.... but I've been spending a LOT more time on eBay over the past months.

And other than a few pieces of merch that I have my eye on (where I am waiting for prices to miraculously drop...), I'm not really looking for anything, per se. Which is a dangerous place to be when you're constantly prowling an auction site and have a few bucks to spare.

One thing I'm in the process of doing is changing a level of my Ultimate Wrestling Wall Unit to a shelf that features Mattel WWE figures - but only the old-school names and legends.


So when I saw an ad on eBay for five completely random wrestling figures for about $30 (Canadian), I figured, why not? Statistically speaking, there was a possibility at least one of the figures would end up being of that vintage, so I rolled the dice. Here's what ended up waiting for me in the mail.

Selection # 1: Epico

I can only imagine the seller on eBay bursting into laughter as he packed this one. "What's he going to do, complain?" the seller probably said. Hey, I wish I could!

I mean seriously, guys, WTF? Epico? The figure is fine in theory and looks like him (or possibly his cousin; I can't really tell), but whose collection in the entire history of wrestling figure collecting actually required an Epico to round things out?

What a loser pick out of the gate. Unless the next one is Primo (or possibly El Torito), please know that I'm not a happy camper so far.

Five Random Wrestling Figures
Five Random Wrestling Figures

Selection # 2: Mark Henry

Well, it's worlds better than f'ng Epico...

This one actually isn't too bad. I've never owned a Mark Henry figure (other than, possibly, a Jakks one when he was in The Nation Of Domination and didn't look a damn thing like Mark Henry) so this is cool. The figure is massive and it definitely sets some apart from others in my collection.

The only thing I would have preferred would have been bald Mark Henry from his Hall of Pain days... but beggars can't be choosers and overall, I'm fine with this one.

Selection # 3: Edge

Now this is more like it!

Yes, I have a few different variations of Edge, including a trenchcoat-clad one that currently occupies space on my Legends Shelf. 

But I'd argue this one is far better. Decked out in his Rated R Superstar gear (arguably the best part of his entire career) and done up with a shit-eating grin on his face... this is really an underappreciated figure. 


Five Random Wrestling Figures
Five Random Wrestling Figures

Selection # 4: The Undertaker

Let's be honest here: I already have an Undertaker figure; you probably already have an Undertaker figure; everyone we know already has an Undertaker figure. 

This one is pretty badass, though. It appears to represent his latter years, e.g. when he was competing once a year at WrestleMania against the likes of Shawn Michaels or Triple H.

I'm not sure it will replace the "Undertaker in black hat and purple tie" version I have on my Legends Shelf, but really... I'm not hating on this version at all.

Selection # 5: The Red Rooster


I mean... I don't even know where to begin here. This is EXACTLY the type of old-school guy I was hoping for, and I didn't even know this figure existed!

I actually had to do some research about this one to make sure it was legit -- it was exclusive to Target stores in 2019 (no Targets in Canada, thus my lack of awareness). And while the boxed version comes with the classic Red Rooster robe, I'm not about to throw out the baby with the bathwater here.

I mean... just look at the iconic Rooster mohawk and the trunks that say "Rooster". Work of fricking art! This MORE than makes up for the Epico, boys.

Five Random Wrestling Figures

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