BEST OF BULLDOG
Hieroglyphics Discovered Documenting
First Known Flair Match
Originally published August 31, 2010
(Cairo, Egypt) - A group of archeologists have discovered what appears to be a primitive review of Ric Flair's first wrestling match.
Unearthed inside a cave yesterday about 30 miles outside of Cairo were images that can be traced back to 434 A.D. One section depicts a man about to trap an unidentified opponent in Flair's patented figure-four leglock.
"At first, we were baffled as to what the crude illustrations might mean," Dr. Hans Crone told Breaking News. "But one of our researchers comes from the mid-Atlantic region, and he recognized it right away."
Although the text accompanying the illustration has been ravaged by the sands of time, researchers believe they can identify the words "chop", "begging off" and "run-in by Ole Anderson". It also lists three eyes and a half-crescent moon, the equivalent of a four-star match by modern standards.
Researchers have also discovered an image that seems to display a red substance oozing from the same figure's forehead and into his long blond hair. Yet another image has the person perched on top off some sort of cliff, preparing to be tossed off by his opponent.