Five Wrestling Magazine

Ads From 1988

As I've mentioned before, I have somewhere between 5 and 55 billion vintage wrestling magazines that are stored in old Rubbermaid bins, sitting on various shelves throughout my house and yes, even strategically placed to make for great bathroom reading.

 

Too much information?

 

Anyways, I was recently sitting on the can, thumbing through the May 1988 edition of Inside Wrestling for no apparent reason, when I noticed - wow, some of these advertisements are actually pretty crazy! To wit...

Michael Hayes Record Album

 

Many of you know Fabulous Freebird frontman and WWE Hall of Famer Michael P.S. Hayes recorded his own iconic theme song  "Badstreet U.S.A." (not to mention the sappy-sounding "Freebird Forever" from WCW Slam Jam 1). But his own record album?

 

Hell... many of you reading this may not even know what record albums ARE. Geez, I'm old....

For just $9.99 (plus shipping and handling), you could totally rock out to the song stylings of Michael Hayes through his "Off The Streets" record. The album includes 10 tracks, while the audio cassette (anyone?) had 11 songs. Both versions include the hit song "Badstreet", although the record includes a poster of Hayes posing in the buff beside a Confederate flag. Um, okay.....

Though the magic of YouTube, I've been able to track down a few of the songs from "Off The Streets" and they're actually not bad. Not my style of music or anything, but I wouldn't have been upset having to shell out 10 bones for this back in the day.

Oh, and if ANY of you think I'm making this album up, check out the following music video:

PWI Propaganda

 

Pro Wrestling Illustrated was an institution to us wrestling fans back in the day; there's no denying that. But.. who in the world would shell out actual money to wear a PWI baseball cap, frisbee (sorry.... "skyflyer") or bumper sticker?

 

The only possible buyers of this crap would be the immediate family of PWI employees. Prove me wrong, Stuart M. Saks; prove me wrong!

Sketchy Wrestling Merch

 

Between the fake-ass looking "World Heavy Weight Wrestling Championship Belt" for $12.50, the bootleg Hulk Hogan and Andre The Giant sketchings, and the figures of "Ted Arcid" and "Roudy Roddy Piper," I think I'd much rather go to my local K-Mart than buy merchandise from "The Wrestling Ring," thank you very much.

Japanese Wrestling Videos

 

Because Inside Wrestling couldn't sell WWF videos, they had to look elsewhere, and Japanese womens wrestling was quite popular with..... hold on a sec. "Slant Eyed Slaughter"?

 

SLANT EYED SLAUGHTER? What the actual f*ck??? Who decided to name their product that? Donald Trump?

 

Inside Wrestling? More like Inside Racism....

Gordon Solie Trivia Game

 

Legendary announcer and WWE Hall of Famer Gordon Solie apparently came up with his own wrestling trivia game back in the day and.....

 

You know what? No. I still can't get over "Slant-Eyed Slaughter." I mean, who the hell thought that was a good idea? Was the video produced in 1988, or 1938? Disgusting!

 

Anyways I guess Gordon Solie had a board game back then, which probably wasn't worth $29.95, because it was proably completely outdated and obsolete by the time you received it. Probably questions about Jack Brisco and soop-lays and crap.

 

Slant-Eyed Slaughter? Seriously????

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