CHRIS JERICHO HEADLINES A

WCW COLORING BOOK!

Chris Jericho largely got the shaft during his WCW career. Even though he routinely produced the best, most entertaining segments (who still remembers The Man of 1,004 Holds, "Greenberg" and Mr. Jericho Goes To Washington?), bookers never really gave him a fair shake. Even when he'd captured a few secondary titles and looked to be headed for a feud with Goldberg, Eric Bischoff killed it dead and it was only a matter of time before Monday Night Jericho became Raw Is Jericho.

 

Still, it's good to know he was the face of this 1999 WCW Coloring & Activity Book ("Slamfest") we recently found on eBay. Let's see who else made the cut....

We begin with Diamond Dallas Page, who has stink lines coming out of him for some unexplained reason. The caption (not pictured) reads "Diamond Dallas Page's Lethal Diamond Cutter" although he looks like he's cutting something else that's lethal. Perhaps that explains the stink lines?

And then there are the mazes and word puzzles throughout the book. Here, Rey Mysterio Jr. and "Kidman" (more like a skinny Rowdy Roddy Piper) have decided to form something.

 

Is it a "Gam Tate"? A "Meat Agt"? I suppose the coloring book people thought all kids who read this were inherently stupid.

Back to the coloring pages, and Curt Hennig is punishing an unidentified competitor with something called the "Atomic Elbow."

 

That's all well and good, but why is Hennig leaving a very visible bump on his opponent's skull? Isn't this stuff supposed to be fake? Looks like he may have just handed out The Perfect Concussion...

Next up, Lex Luger is putting "Raven" (who looks more like an extra from Planet Of The Apes than himself), in his patented Torture Rack.

 

Separately, I'll point out how many of the pages in this book have fans holding generic signs up. Apparently, this arena has only one Luger and one Raven sign around at any time.

From there, we have a word puzzle that shows Buff Bagwell being robbed by (spoiler alert) the new World order.

 

But wait.... who's the nWo guy on the end? Biker Undertaker from 2000???

Remember how I mentioned Chris Jericho was on the cover? Well, the following is the only actual rendering of him throughout the entire 15-page coloring book, being slammed by a clean-shaven Booker T with a cowardly look on his face. 

 

On the plus side, at least Jericho has just as many signs in the crowd as Booker does.

Just as things are getting going.... here's the announce team of Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone and.... um..... Don West (?!?) to let us know that we're out of time and to tune into Thunder tomorrow night on the SuperStation. Okay, they don't actually say that part, but you know they're thinking it. 

Also, you have to love how there are two floating panels about the announce booth for no adequately explored reason. Is that supposed to represent the TurnerTron? I do notice they seem to have DDP's stink lines all over them, though.

 

It's easy to joke around, but in terms of a coloring book, this was perfectly fine, especially for the era. And honestly, there's not too much here to really complain about.

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