LJN's Wrestling Superstars action figures are generally considered the first series of wrestling toys to be marketed to the mainstream internationally. And I'm lucky to have collected them all back in the 1980s! Each month, I'll look at one classic figure and explain what made them so special.
THE HONKY TONK MAN
He's got long sideburns, and a bright blue nose,
He's coming to your town, in a hitchhiker pose.
He's just The Honky Tonk Man (just The Honky Tonk Man),
He's just The Honky Tonk Man (just The Honky Tonk Man),
He's just The Honky Tonk Man, he's cool, he's cocky, he's b-b-b-b-been inducted into the prestigious Canadian Bulldog's World LJN Wrestling Figure Hall of Fame!
So let's address the elephant in the room -- yes, I'm aware that the Greatest Intercontinental Champion Of ALL Time is sporting an unintentionally blue schnozz (and the front of his hair, too). This is likely because the mold for his 1988 action figure was probably all blue, and when HTM took a few too many bumps to the face, his blue-y goodness came oozing out.
But beyond that - HTM is one helluva figure. He's decked out in a blue and red jumpsuit and has a red scarf wrapped around his neck. And his pose is perfect for delivering his patented Shake, Rattle & Roll neckbreaker to Koko B. Ware and other poor schmoes.
One element to The Honky Tonk Man's LJN figure that shouldn't be underestimated is his cool, cocky and bad smirk. He's all like "yeah, I've been the Intercontinental Champion for a ridiculously long time; what are you going to do about it? No one's about to take it from me!"
Of course, the one man who did take it from him, The Ultimate Warrior, is about to deliver a knuckle sandwich to HTM, but he's still smirking. Why? Because his manager, Colonel Jimmy Hart, is seconds away from clobbering Warrior with his megaphone.
Beyond singles competition, The Honky Tonk Man also doubled as a proficient tag team competitor. Just look at this reunion of sorts of Rhythm 'n' Blues. Sure, Greg The Hammer Valentine isn't wearing the right outfit for it (nor does he have the dyed-black hair, but all you'd need is a Sharpie to correct that), but they still can bring back memories of their 1990 heyday in which they terrorized everyone from The Bushwhackers to.... well, I can't remember anyone else that R 'n' B feuded with.
This creates a problem, as the only (current) team Honky and Hammer could face was The Hart Foundation. Or I suppose a makeshift team of Tito Santana & Koko B. Ware.
Not to get too sentimental here, but The Honky Tonk Man was truly the total entertainment package. He could sing, he could dance, and oh yeah.... he could wrestle! It didn't matter if he was facing off against Outback Jack or Randy Savage, chances are pretty good that Memphis' favorite son (sorry, Lawler, but you never had an LJN figure) would prevail.
Pair him with Jimmy Hart, strap on the Intercontinental Title (really a tag team title, but who cares?), and set him loose in his Pink Cadillac; he'll take care of the rest.
Welcome to the Hall of Fame, Honky Tonk Man. Now stop getting your blue nose in a huff!
