LJN's Wrestling Superstars action figures are generally considered the first series of wrestling toys to be marketed to the mainstream internationally. And I'm lucky to have collected them all back in the 1980s! Each month, I'll look at one classic figure and explain what made them so special.
S.D. "SPECIAL DELIVERY" JONES
The inclusion of S.D. "Special Delivery" Jones in the third series of LJN's Wrestling Superstars circa 1986 tells us a few important things:
The series required someone who could do the J.O.B. to practically anyone else on the roster (e.g. Kamala, Greg Valentine, Jimmy Hart).
Paul Roma and Barry Horowitz hadn't yet signed "action figure" contracts with the WWF yet.
The roster was apparently razor-thin prior to WrestleMania II.
Laugh at him if you must, but the inclusion of Special Delivery Jones was an important one.
Who else could you depend on to lay down for your King Kong Bundy (bt the way, the very first member of our prestigious HOF some five years ago; may he rest in peace) figure in nine seconds flat? Motherf*cking Express Overnight Delivery Jones; that's who!
In addition to his position on the card, S.D. was also unique because of his business casual fashion sense. Who else but S.D. The Extraspecialdelivery Jones would attempt an outfit that included a yellow and blue headband, red button-down T-shirt paired with a blue speedo and blue boots?
Interestingly enough, LJN also created a version that had Jones wearing a yellow shirt with palm trees - odd considering the LJN line had so few variants!
Let's be honest -- 99 percent of the time, we as fans would create our supercards with little to no regard for the win-loss record of Fed Ex Jones.
But you could create amazing hope spots, such as S.D. bodyslamming The Magnificent Muraco, and your imaginary Gorilla Monsoon would wax philosophical about how Jones "can put any one away on any given night." PUH-LEASE!
You could also create scenarios that would never, ever happen on WWF programming. For example, I've mentioned before how, in the WWF of my imagination, Priority Mail Jones would often team with fellow CBWLJNWFHOF'er Outback Jack as an underdog duo of sorts.
What I never revealed (until this moment) is that Jones and Jack began teaming following a sneak attack by The Dream Team and Johnny V.
Want to take my fantasy figure federation booking to a whole other level?
Let's assume that, from time to time, USPS Jones would team up with none other than Hulk Hogan. And then, one day, Jones turned on The Hulkster (as pretty much all of his tag team partners did).
We've just fantasy booked the ultimate WrestleMania IV match (more likely, the main event at a Boston Gardens house show).
We've often talked about the little posters that came rolled up in the bottom of an LJN figure package, but the poster for Registered Letter Jones was a next-level work of art. Tonight, at the Coliseum, you could see S.D. Jones, complete with a reggae-style button-down shirt, bongos and maracas. Had he actually worn that to the ring, No Way Jonese may have actually had a lengthy WWF career!
In any event, we loved the hell out of this figure, and are making a Special Delivery of it into the (prestigious) Canadian Bulldog's World LJN Wrestling Figure Hall of Fame!