Are We There Yet?
Tales From The Never-Ending Travels of WWE Superstars
Robert Caprio
Published: 2005
Pages: 240
Synopsis: A funny collection of road stories from various WWE superstars in the early 2000s.
I took off and shoved the stewardess down one of the aisles without even realizing it. The puncher had his back to me, so I grabbed him from behind when I got to him. The first thing I couldn't understand was that he's smacking other passengers around, and no one is doing about it!
So I have a hold of him from behind and he starts to fight me, swinging his elbows trying to kick, everything. I cracked him once in the head to startle him, grabbed him with one hand on the collar of his shirt and the other on his belt, and ran him all the way to the back to slam his head right into the food cart. I let him go and he dropped to the floor.
No, that wasn't a pre-taped skit from last week's SmackDown. It was an actual experience that happened to former WWE superstar Rico one time when he flew from Cleveland to Las Vegas.
Living out of a suitcase as wrestlers tend to do, it's not surprising that strange, silly and sometimes scary things happen when they're on the road for long stretches at a time. This book documents a nice cross-section of them.
Of note: This was published in early-2005, and a good 75 percent of the storytellers have since left WWE. That's not necessarily a bad thing; it's just worth pointing out because it's almost as though we're talking about a completely different wrestling company.
Most of these are short and to the point, while some are extended tales. For the most part, they're little bite-sized anecdotes that, with the exception of three or four of them, I'd never heard elsewhere before. And all of your favorite current WWE stars are here, including A-Train, Bill Goldberg, Jonathan Coachman, Miss Jackie, D-Von Dudley, Ivory, Christopher Nowinski, Trish Stratus and Molly Holly. Oops.
Surprisingly, some of the most interesting stories come from guys like Triple H, Sgt. Slaughter, Paul Heyman and Chris Jericho. I won't spoil any for you, but I will say that The Game's story in particular lets you remember how he used to be just one of the boys and not quasi-management.
The section on "ribs" is, obviously, the funniest part of the book. Most of these jokes are of the harmless kind, unlike some of the ones Roddy Piper and Ric Flair describe in their books that had serious consequences. Vince McMahon, of all people, pulls the ultimate prank on Coach, one that would have been hilarious to be there for.
Unfortunately, there's not a lot of meat on the bones are, as the 240 pages can be skimmed through in a single sitting. But I'll give WWE points for originality; this is quite different than its typical superstar biography.
Overall Rating: Transitional Champion. Lots of fun, and some interesting stories to boot, but your mileage for stories about Big Show breaking a toilet in India may vary. Definitely worth a peek.